Firstly, thanks so much to all of you who have supported me with such words of kindness, even people I hardly know. Who says Malaysians are unfriendly?!
So I visited my gynae today. Bad news and good news, and since I’ve been so depressed lately, I’ll start with the good news. I have no growths in my womb, so no uterine polyps (yay!) and I did not have a miscarriage (double yay! – I was more worried about this because – those who know me also know this – I am very emotional about these things). So no surgery is required, thank the Lord.
The bad news is, I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, which my gynae says happens to one woman in ten. The strange thing is three of my friends have PCOS, and now four, including me. I have been put on some kind of hormonal pills to regulate my ovulation for three months, after which we’ll see if I’m ok. There is apparently no guarantee that it works, because apart from extreme stress and extreme starvation being linked to the cause of PCOS, there is no solid explanation why it happens.
PCOS, in simple terms, is when your eggs are stuck in your ovaries and cannot be released. During my ultrasound, Dr Kim found one of my ovaries being slightly larger than the other, which is one of the symptoms. I asked her what the worst case scenario is and she said that it may complicate matters if I want to have kids again *sniff*. But I have hope because two of my friends who had PCOS are now pregnant, so I’m not overly worried.
I don’t want to worry too much now and I am taking it easy with my diet as well. I’ve thought about what I’d do if I’m not ever going to get pregnant again but Lokes has discouraged me from thinking too far ahead. At least we have Raeven, he says. I can’t help feeling sorry for myself, wondering if it’s something I’m doing or not doing that’s causing this.
But you know what, I’m happier already knowing I don’t have to go through surgery and don’t have warts in my womb!
And that I have friends like all of you who have shown me so much support. Thanks so so much, you guys!
Well, back to work. The last week I’ve not been able to concentrate much due to this. Now I have a mountain of work piled up!