Every alternate Wednesday night, my husband and I have a date night, where we abandon our kids at home with their grandparents, and take in dinner or perhaps a movie or just hang out at a local mall.

You know, do all the couple things we used to do before we got married.

This date night ‘regulation’ came after almost three years, two kids and one very big argument. We discovered that no matter how much we loved each other, it was important to reconnect. Because people DO change, and getting to know your partner was an ongoing process. That I did not know all there was to know about this man I’d known for eight years and loved for five.

For example, the fact that he took his job pretty darn seriously, and not because he was the chief breadwinner in the family, but because he wanted people to take him seriously. Not that they don’t already, but it mattered to him that at 35, he was not content to stay where he was. That it mattered that he continued to learn as well as an individual and not just take home a salary at the end of the day.

It was enlightening and unnerving at the same time, to realise that my husband had shed the carefree persona he had when we dated and could very well get a stroke if he was not careful, at the rate he was going.

Last night, we had a nice, romantic dinner at Opus Bistro in Bangsar. We talked and laughed and made a pact to lose weight, where he promptly told me that I was eating more than him (I’m breastfeeding!).

Now Lokes NEVER ever ‘complained’ about my appearance. And he did not view this as a complaint, just one friend telling another that I’d better watch it.

Again, the feeling was ambivalent. As a woman (and a wife!), do I want to hear that my husband may find me unattractive? But that was not it at all. He said it with such concern, it was as though I was an alcoholic. And it was right after we decided to shed some pounds (make that kilos).

Nevertheless, he was honest, and I appreciated that. He was concerned about HIS own weight as well, not being able to find clothes already at his current state.

And so, we reconnected. We found out how each other truly felt about our health, and came away a little reassured, a little insecure and as we walked back to our car, he pulled me to him and gave me a tight hug.

How we must have looked, two rolly-pollies, hugging outside a chic restaurant where beautiful people ate.

If only they knew.

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