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GUILTY DREAMS

Perhaps a manifestation of my guilty neglect of my older daughter with the arrival of little Skyler, I had a horrible nightmare yesterday.

I dreamt that for some reason, we’ve had to leave Raeven locked in her room in our house (which wasn’t my present abode, dunno why) and – brace yourselves – cut off two of her fingers (yes! sob…), according to the wishes of some unknown force. Lokes did it while Raeven was sleeping and apparently, she’d slept through the pain! sob…

In the dream, we packed up everything in our car and took the baby. I was driving off in a hurry while Lokes was at the back trying to get some sleep (he’s always sleeping – even in my dream, he is napping, and in the midst of such a catastrophe!) when I just could not bear to leave. And so I did a U turn and returned to our house. It was already late in the day and from the outside, I could hear Raeven sobbing quietly from exhaustion.

“Mommy….I want my mommy…,” she cried. A dagger of pain stabbed through my heart as I got out of the car and saw her at the window, trying to look for me. When she saw me, she cried louder, and said to me, “Mommy, look at my hand…pain-pain…”

As I rushed to her, crying, I woke up to my baby daughter Skyler’s cries for her mid morning feed at about 5am. I was already crying myself.

I was so upset I had to wake Lokes and tell him about my horrible nightmare. He tried in vain to comfort me and in the end, I just let the dream wear out its effect on me.

After feeding Skyler, I went to Raeven’s bedroom and peeped in. Sprawled across the queen-sized bed, she was sound asleep. I slipped under the sheets and hugged my baby girl, thankful that she was safe.

Any dream interpreters out there wanna tell me how I can dream such nonsense?

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