The closer you get, the higher they are

I’m talking about expectations.

Isn’t it odd, that the closer you are with someone, the higher your expectations are from that person?

And the more unreasonable they become?

Take your spouse, for example. You always expect him to be more understanding, to be more sensitive. Or your kids. Most Asian mothers berate their kids for not doing better in school instead of encouraging them.

I was talking to a friend a few days ago, and it occured to both of us, how we can become so unreasonable when it comes to those we love. And that we would never expect so much from people we call our friends.

And much less strangers.

Why do we afford such a courtesy to people we don’t even care about? And why do we make our loved ones work so hard to gain our respect when we can give it so freely to others?

Food for thought.



  1. aly said

    so so true. 😦

  2. YUanWu said

    That’s called taking your loved ones for granted.

    It’s because we know that no matter how unreasonable we ask of them, they will still be there tomorrow.

    I’m trying my best to change this mentality in my home. I make it my responsibility to not allow uncontrollable circumstances become a reason/excuse to be unreasonable towards another family member or to take another family member for granted.

    I let my siblings know that no matter what they do or whatever happens, I will never take sides against the them.

    I promised myself that should the slightest thing happen to anyone in the family, I’ll drop whatever is on my hands to make sure everything is alright at home.

  3. […] I don’t know…was reprimanding my little goddaughter yesterday for speaking rudely to her dad and then reading this blog here, made me think to myself……do we all lack this thing called empathy? I once got a scolding from a friend about the lack of this when speaking with my mom and you know what? She was right…I mean, mom only spoke loudly because she would know I would speak to her that way too….and then I started to soften up…to speak to her in a more respectful tone and things changed. Well not overnight changes but subtle changes. […]

  4. bobdogz said

    Totally agree… but it is also natural that the expectation is higher since you’ll be staying with him for the rest of your life. You don’t require the same from a friend.

    We’ll also judge his actions & character more so than a friend because the closer you are to someone, the easier you’ll be hurt by him. That’s why you’ll mind it so much.

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