Honour among girl friends

When I was a kid, I was an average looking teenage girl. I was stick-thin. Hard to believe, I know, and I remember thinking I really was fat then, but it wasn’t true at all, looking at my old pics.

Anyway, I wasn’t exactly pageant queen material either.

My friends, on the other hand, were all gorgeous. They still are, actually. I think only I have blown out of proportion!

With my average looks, obviously, I was at the bottom of the dating barrel. But I still managed to attract SOME boys. In fact, some of them were quite popular as well. Which was why our ‘dates’ never lasted more than a few months. Many a time, it was because they’d seen one of my prettier friends, and became interested in her instead. Such is the nature of teenage ‘relationships’.

It was hard, to face that sort of rejection when one is so young, but I was a quick learner. Very soon, I’d made peace with the fact that my friends will always be more attractive than me, simply because they’re born prettier. Me? I had to work at it a little bit, but I was content with my looks. I also had a good sense of humour, a strong sense of style and a jovial demeanour (who doesn’t appreciate a good joke in Reeboks over neverending legs :P? It was the 80s!). I hoped then those things would one day be attractive to the right person. God gave them a chance, and brought me my husband, for which I am eternally thankful.

There is nothing quite as hurtful as when someone you like, or even love, falls out of love with you. More so when it’s because they are attracted to one’s good friend. This sort of ‘betrayal’ is the most complex. How can you blame two people for having chemistry?

But can you blame the guy for being attracted to someone more beautiful than you? Absolutely. But blaming is all one can do. All you can tell yourself is that such a guy isn’t worth keeping.

And neither is such a friend. But if it is fate, can you blame her? Do true friends take each other’s boyfriends or spouses? Or do they forgive these betrayals and accord them to destiny?

I personally would feel insulted if a good friend thinks that I would actually steal her boyfriend away. Because I know how painful that is.

Some women, on the other hand, thrive on the attention. They don’t really want to betray you. Just sort of keep you on your toes. Diet a little more. Eat a little less.

A few are desperate enough to clinch the few remaining ‘good ones’ (although how good can the guy be for betraying your own friend?).

Where is honour among girl friends when it comes to men?



  1. Reshma said

    You have a very cool blog!

    Yeah I wouldn’t ever dare of stealing anyone else’s boyfriend at all let alone a mate of mines! That’s is just so wrong. Friends don’t do that type of stuff, there is no excuse for doing it.

  2. Jacky said

    You should post some of you pics to let us see 🙂

  3. Kenny Lee said

    yeah…! pictures!

  4. adriene said

    totally against the stealing of bfs/gfs/wives/husbands!

  5. Hui Gee said

    Hi Jenn. yeah – i simply think it’s inexcusable for anyone to be stealing his/her friend’s partner, unless the partner has become an ex (that’s a whole new issue altogether, though not without complications too).

    Btw, i am one of your blog readers. have been one since i came across your MSN women’s articles. And i must say that you have the knack and flair for writing. The issues and topics you brought up have always been interesting, thought provoking besides being very relevant to the everyday living. Don’t ever stop writing.

    I believe i may have known you before, though i don’t think you’d have remembered me. 🙂

    And yah, all the best in your new life in the States. Keep us your blog friends updated 🙂

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