We deserve to be here

Do you have friends who just can’t be happy for you? And you know it’s JUST because you’re a woman, married and now in a much better place than before?

Ish.

All my adult life, I’ve tried to be independent. It’s true that MOST of that, I’ve had a man, with only windows of time when I was actually single. The longest of which was about two years when I was in college, ‘coz serial dating isn’t having a boyfriend (so those guys during secondary school don’t count either), no matter what you say.

And even though I had a boyfriend, I never had to ASK him for money. You may be like that, but I was NOT. In fact, I’ve had to support my ex when he was out of a job for almost one year!

I’ve lived on my own, had a job, made a good living for over ten years since I went to KL. Hell, in certain circles, I was even considered accomplished, as you so begrudgingly admitted to so many times in the past, and only because it’s to make me feel like I somehow cheated my way to where I was.

So it really pisses me off when certain people who HARDLY know me, think I must be so proud of myself JUST because I’m not working anymore now and got myself migrated over here to the US. Get to live the comfortable life of a stay-at-home mom with a ‘rich’ husband, with our one car and rented home.

Firstly, I’m not working because my kids NEED for me to stay at home. You have the illusion of a choice to leave them with the maid and parents in a small town all week. I think you’re irresponsible and very possibly insane. That’s our only difference.

Because believe me, if the situation were different? I can write all over your ass and you can go back to whatever it is you were doing before, kissing my behind so you can get a job.

Secondly, Lokes worked HARD to get here. He put in the hours and the effort, and it didn’t happen overnight. BELIEVE me. The way you go on is as though we got lucky and that we did not deserve it. You don’t know how insulting that is to my husband.

Lastly, it’s only funny to joke about these things if they were ACTUAL jokes and not snide remarks meant to make us feel guilty for the rewards we reap. See now why you DON’T have many friends?

You deal your own cards most of the time, so don’t complain about the ones life has dealt you because guess what hon’, you reap what you sow.

Perhaps you’ll learn that when you get your head out of that selfish bubble of yours long enough.

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3 Comments »

  1. Jamie said

    hi jenn! am not sure if you remember me, i worked with you on the wordup internet radio program a couple of years back – we talked about books which got adapted into films. just wanted you to know, that i recently moved to the US too- boston, MA – we should hook up if you are ever on the eastcoast! also, don’t get down about other ppls comments. unfortunately, unlike in KL most ppl in the US don’t have the luxury of affordable help. infact, most of my colleagues wives gave up their careers to look after their kids, bc daycare here is just too expensive. just wanted to let you know that i admire the fact that you sacrificed a career which you love to be with your kids – it couldn’t have been an easy decision. congrats on the move, and do keep in touch!

  2. Eric said

    Hi Jennifer,

    Ever since I know you, I respect you as an independent grown woman. I know how you went through your younger life (through your Pui Jeh – Janice). so I understand why you are angry when those who do not know you consider you as a “lucky woman”.

    Never mind what other people say about you…for as long as you know yourself. We are all happy for you esp knowing that the children are adjusting well. Keep the happy thoughts in your mind, and leave out what is taking up as excess baggage….life is much too valuable for that.

    I’ve just started this new job and hopefully soon we can visit you there. cause the Headquater of my company is in Kent, which should be quite close to you. If I work hard enough and get my boss to appreciate my performance I might get the chance to visit the headquarter and by then, your piu jeh can come along to see you and most importantly…….shopping..hehe…. 🙂

    P.S. can I have some cute cute photos of Raeven and Skyler? we both miss them very much…

    take care and my regards to all at home

    Eric

  3. Hey Eric!

    yea I upload some almost daily in their own blogs (http://tufflilgirl.blogspot.com for Sky, http://raeventan.blogspot.com for Rae), so u can download some there. Of course, the motherload is in Flickr (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jennemede).

    Thanks for the kind words. Yea, some people just don’t have a nice bone in their body.

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