Toilet seat up or down: A mathematical approach

The verdict?

In the mornings, the guys can leave it up. In the evenings, they have to leave it down.

Why? If you have the patience for it, read this amusing, but lengthy piece.

Now how about a logical approach?

I say a seat is called a seat because it’s to be sat on, and therefore, has to remain down.

The only reason why guys flip it up before peeing is because they don’t want to have to wipe any of their stinky pee off when they’re done, and you just know they WILL wet the seat because, well, they are boys.

Why do us girls make such a fuss about the seat being down? Because it’s unsanitary to have to touch the damn seat before we have to remove our pants and undies.

We have to:

1. put the seat down
2. wash our hands
3. line the seat
4. remove our pants/panties
5. sit down and pee
6. wash our hands again

I know your job isn’t to make our lives easier, but the next time you need to make a Number 2 (American politespeak for passing motion) and the seat is up, think of someone’s pee germs all over your fingers.



  1. andrew said

    Too long, couldn’t be bothered to read. Actually, why not just use the toilet paper to put the seat down, and throw the paper into the toilet or into the bin? Doesn’t that solve the problem? I think it’s better than having to wipe off stains from the seat…(not very hygienic, me thinks).

  2. You take the tissue and put the seat down also must wash hands firstlah!

  3. andrew said

    No direct contact between your hands and the toilet seat… why must keep on washing your hands?

  4. Marauderz said

    Actually boys would definetly wet the seat if it’s down cause well it’s not like the flow stops IMMEDIATELY it trickles to a stop and the only way to not wet the seat while peeing would be to… do a proper balancing act.. 😛

    Touching the toilet seat to get it down.. hmm.. ever tried just kicking the side of the toilet, those seats are so damn heavy any little knock just drops them down.

    of course then everyone outside would wonder what’s going on….

    And of course whatever’s on the rim would just get splattered around. 😛

  5. jennemede said

    Andrew: Because tissue doesn’t exactly kill germs you know. we have to SIT on the seat, so we have to make sure it’s all clean. Bacteria like ecoli won’t die just because you swipe it with a tissue. It can so get on your hands FROM the tissue, in seconds! I’m not making this up! My daughter just kena-ed the infection (fever, vomitting) so I’m now super paranoid.

    Marauderz: When you wanna pee, u put it uplah. After you’re done, put it down. It’s your own pee anyway.

  6. andrew said

    I agree that tissues won’t kill bacterias (well, some do like the one advertised by Kleenex). I’m actually referring to toilet papers, not just one small piece of toilet paper, but a few layers of it. Use it to put the seat up and then quickly throw it into the toilet bowl. Bacterias can’t be that ‘keng’ and go through few layers of toilet paper in a mere second, can they?

    quote: Why do us girls make such a fuss about the seat being down? Because it’s unsanitary to have to touch the damn seat before we have to remove our pants and undies.

    reply: In the end, it’s all about of laziness. If it’s unsanitary, isn’t it unsanitary as well for the guys to put the damn seat up before doing business #1 and putting it down after that?

    I think the best solution is to separate two toilets out, one for female and one for male.. .LOL!

  7. Best is guys’ toilet don’t have seats. You dont need them anyway! pangsai also just sit on the rimlah…

  8. andrew said

    LOL! Best is the squatting type of toilet… No seats to argue about….

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