Never too sick for sex

The first time I ever came to experience the aggressiveness of how Americans market their drugs was through email.

That's because by and large, Malaysia isn't a very medicated society. For headaches, we take Panadol or Paracetamol. For toothache we take Panadol or Paracetamol. For fevers, we also take – you guessed it – Panadol or Paracetamol. Rub a little Vicks under our noses or on our chests. Drink a little salt water. Nothing a little rubbing "dead money" over affected area and throwing said "dead money" our shoulders won't fix.

And if all these remedies do fail to work, some of us prefer to go to our village bomohs and lamolous before taking anything not over-the-counter, since seeing a doctor for say, a large swollen welt on one's penis, might cost us a lot more than just money.

Ever since my first account on Hotmail, which turned into a junkmail magnet and has stayed one since the dawn of other free web mail services, I've been inundated by ads for Viagra or Cialis. I get that people who are selling, and buying, my email address don't care that I'm not male and thus have no need for a "big rock hard p3n1s". I might want my husband to have a "big rock hard p3n1s" and that possibility is good enough for them.

Having lived in Seattle for almost four months now, I've discovered that night time telly is another great way to learn about pills for every possible ailment one may have, including those little blue ones. Just yesterday, an ad came on for Viagra where a man had to choose between a football game and his wife giving him the 'come hither', so he did the very smart thing of recording the game with his VCR (how_old_is this ad?) and went on to presumably have sex.

And then a man in a doctor's coat appeared and started talking about Viagra. And as usual with these drug ads, they start to warn you about side effects that might occur, so the first thing this man said was, "Make sure you're healthy enough to have sex."

Wait. Do men have to be reminded that when you're doubled over with, say, food poisoning, you might want to chill and not take the blue pill tonight?

Horny man: Hey little lady. How much?
Hooker: Er sir? you're attached to an oxygen tank?"

I dare say most women don't have to be told not to take 'procreational' drugs when they're not healthy enough to have sex. After all, we need most of all faculties when we want some, even if some of our parts may not be working as well as we want them to (prompting us to take the pill). Even if it takes us 50 years to meet a man we want to have sex with, I'm not going to pop a pill to perform better when I can't even, you know, breathe.

Hehe. If nothing else, these ads are fun-ny!

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1 Comment »

  1. elfimka said

    You know, I noticed that these ads come on not just at night, but also during shows like Jerry Springer (and the like), soap operas, and other day time shows. Along with ads for vocational schools. Along with porn dvd’s. So, I guess the message is: “Since you are at home at 10am, you probably don’t have the job. So here, get some education that will get you a job, buy some Viagra and some porn, and you’ll be all good to go.”

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