A piece of home in Starbucks

Being homesick can be a rather haphazard experience.

This morning, I had a bitter sweet moment, seeing a piece of home at the Starbucks in Redmond Town Center, only to be loudly told that I could not take a picture of their drinks board by this curt young lady who just kept cutting me off when I tried to just tell her (while already putting my phone away) why I wanted to. She wasn't interested and just kept telling me, "No, I know. But no."

Never mind that there were 50 people in there and I had a grumbly baby with me. I mean, come on. I just wanted to take a pic of the board with this on it.

What really frightened me was what followed. While this was just a little thing, really, and I should know better, but as I drove home, I felt tears well up and became sadder than I'd ever been since we moved to Seattle. To suddenly realise I am now the farthest away from home than I'd ever been, without Lokes and with two kids, without anyone who really cared about us should that's within a day's trip away.

The fact just weighed down on me I could feel my heart just literally sink like a stone to the bottom of a really deep place.

For all the opportunities this new move presents, I just wished the part where you feel all alone and homesick and scared can be over sooner.

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6 Comments »

  1. Tracey E said

    Sending you a virtual hug!

  2. Cindy said

    Being in a brand new environment with young children is a daunting experience and especially fearful when hubby is away. You are coping very well, Jenn, and the children have blossomed under your watchful care and love. It is alright to feel sad and lonely as we are only human… I share the same feelings too but in time, you will find a good friend or two who will be there for you close-by. Meanwhile, hang in there, email us if you need anything and take one day at a day – We are Woman, hear us roar! : )

  3. adriene said

    hey jenn,

    i really can feel how u are feeling/felt in usa. i have had similar experiences too here in tokyo. and i literally cried right in front of the ppl who were telling me off quite harshly (in japanese) for things i didn’t do/couldn’t understand.

    hang in there. things will get better and you will be stronger for it. i’ll pray for you.

    hugs.

  4. thanks guys. I’m such a wreck! The dreary weather isn’t helping either pff. I told Lokes if I can get through June (when he’s gonna be gone for a whole month but for a week) I will be stronger than I’ve ever been as a mother and a person. I’ve never been in a totally different country this long, not even for college, so yea. Wish me luck!

  5. adriene said

    yeah, that’s the spirit jenn girl. u definitely will be stronger and even more spunky for it. u are a survivor!

    best wishes,
    adriene

  6. Jo said

    hi jenn

    i feel ur pain… dun worry, i will b there hopefully in august… just read my approval letter that I am only allowed to travel into the states 10 days in advance of my H1B date on 1 October 2006.. means i can only be there late late September… oh no!!!!!!!!! have emailed the lawyer my query and hopefully good news….

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